You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

Well...not Peter Griffin..no no...I love Peter... and Stewie, especially when he's drunk.



So here's the thing. It's the holiday season and it's a time to give and be merry, but it's so hard to get into the spirit of it all when you're more broke than an ass crack. It's very frustrating and maybe it's because I really do care about the people in my life and I'd love to be able to buy them all the gifts I think they deserve. Unfortunately, Santa didn't grant me buko bucks this year or any year for that matter. So I will do the best I can and probably end up in more debt that will require me to not eat for a couple weeks. Ah yes...holiday cheer!

Losing Hope

Losing hope
Looking at blank faces
Stand behind the door
Trying to find safe places
Go through it in my head
But it always comes out the same in the end
Want to reach for something more
Want it so bad I can taste it
But I can't seem to grasp the core
Of what I must to really take it
And I find myself sinking
Will I fight enough to make it?
Am I wrong for what I'm thinking?
Is it too late to try and change it?

Untitled

Instant sadness
Forever doomed
Quickly drifting into madness
A dark and hollow tomb
Sail away with windswept drops
They rip across the face
And think of a way to stop
The mess that can't erase
Scream again and no one will hear
Beating hands against the wall
The heart beats faster, governed by fear
Repeat, Repeat as the body starts to fall
Trapped inside with no way out
With every second there to count

The Grind

click, punch, click, punch
until it's time to go to lunch
break fast, have fun
feel the heat of the sun
come back and start again
show the man a forced grin
eyes blur, music blast
another day gone too fast

What if I'm...the bad actor?

Ah, disappointment. It happens so often in life. My most recent experience happened just a few days ago when watching the film adaptation of Twilight. But, can I really call this a film? This can be debated, especially since I can't completely commit to an opinion right now. You see, watching this movie may have been better had it not been shared with many a screaming tweenager. However, the movie did have it's flaws and quite a number of them. First, let's just talk about the acting or lack thereof. At times, I really felt uncomfortable. I mean, really uncomfortable. For someone who has read the entire Twilight Saga, this makes me sad. At times I laughed at parts that were supposed to be serious and cringed at the sheer ridiculousness. Yes, there were some quirky characters and some very enjoyable moments, but overall this movie made my heart drop. The book has a beautiful story and I felt that the overacting and over the top aspects that hit every now and then took away from that great story. Nonetheless, if you haven't read the book, you should and dare I say it, give the movie a shot. Maybe the cheese will have less zest the second time around.

To Blave

Remember the first time you watched, "The Princess Bride." I'm assuming you've seen it and if you haven't, you should. It's a story of true love and what it can endure. Yes, it quirky and comical but at the core that's the message. True love can withstand anything, even death...as long as you've got a miracle and maybe a nice mlt, where the mutton is nice and lean..but I digress. It seems like people have forgotten the importance and strength of love. But, here is a reminder...

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises and eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
-Captain Corelli's Mandolin

It's all about soul

A wise man once said, "Strength lies in differences, not in similarities."

As much as I know the truth in these words, I can't help but find myself questioning whether my differences are more a weakness, or at least a weak perception of myself. And then I remember, I really like who I am and the person I'm confident I will become (even though I'm hard on myself most of the time). So, I guess the perception doesn't really matter. Deep down, beneath the surface, there's beauty there. Even if no one else can see it, I know it's there.

Growing Pains

When do we ever really grow up? Is it the moment we choose someone else's happiness over our own or when we decide to focus on ourselves? Is it both? Is it when we let go of pettiness and anger and just forgive and move on or when we let out how we feel because we're not afraid anymore. Or, is it both? Maybe we're all just boys and girls who try to cope with the world and never really leave that place where we play and laugh and cry and love and hurt. But, we start to think and maybe a little too much. Because, it never really mattered what anyone else said or did for more than 5 seconds when all we cared about was being together.